Killjoy. American Idiot. Potterhead.

sincerely-bee:

an old post that I finally unprivated.

For the past couple of months, we’ve had to rely on sneaking around  and more recently, school to see each other. I’ve had to tell countless, well spoken lies and take cautious measures just to see you for a handful of hours once a week. You’ve driven 40 minutes to my house with a nearly empty tank and no money to gas up  just to come over for 2 hours and cuddle, making sure to stay as silent as possible so my younger siblings wouldn’t hear.

My parents are against us being together, your parents don’t agree with you sneaking around to see me, and you, almost more than I, dislike how something like religion is keeping us apart. You don’t have to stick around; in fact, I’ve tried to make you go. I’ve tried pushing you away, and I’ve tried showing you that someone else can make you so much happier than I ever will and you’ll actually get to see them. You wouldn’t have to wait a year just to take someone else out on a real date. You wouldn’t have any of the emotional stress that comes with knowing almost no one supports our relationship. You would get to have a normal relationship free of perpetually feeling incomplete and lonely, something I can’t give you at the moment.

You don’t have to deal with the middle-of-the-night calls you get from me, and hear me cry after my parents sit me down and tell me that you’re not right for me when we both know that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You don’t have to deal with any of this. Anyone else would have left a long time ago, but not you.

You don’t stay because it’s the right thing to do, you stay because you want to. You stay because you say that our relationship is too great to let this get in the way, and that our relationship is worth fighting for.You stay because you say that no one else can do what I do for you- no one can make you laugh like I do, no one can make you as happy, no one will ever compare to me, no one makes you love someone as much and as hard as you love me.

We’re going to have our rough times. We’re going to fight, argue, want to give up…but at the end of the day, our relationship-our love, our bond- is too strong to just let go. We’re in love, and nothing is ever going to change that.

You’re free to go whenever you want- if you should ever get unhappy, the door is open. I’ll let you leave and save you the tearful begging and pleading. I’m scared of losing you, of being without you, but I will deal with being alone if it means you’re happy. But until then, if you’re in, I’m still in too. ♥